I choose to believe this is the truth.
I laughed so hard no sound came out
some muggleborn like “i want to be an astronaut when i grow up!”
wizard kids like “wtf is an astronaut”
"oh you know…the people who go to the moon"
I either dress like im going to a red carpet event or like im a homeless drug addict there is no in between
im gonna need to see ur license and regist- oh gosh mr washington i apologize have a nice day sir
i was high as fuck last night
remember when pete broke his foot because he jumped off some speakers and then he just laid there
even if im not horny im still pretty horny
for a person who isn’t exclusively attracted to people of the same gender I sure do say im gay a lot
The fact that wizard law enforcement found a dude’s finger and immediately closed the investigation, declared him dead, and concluded that the only possible explanation for why they only found a finger was that he was killed so hard that the rest of him was obliterated kind of speaks volumes about why nobody followed up when the genocidal serial killer just vanished.
The Ministry of Magic is fucking useless.